I was scheduled to write a blog post for Cloth in Common on December 25th. It didn’t happen. Why? Because I ran out of time.
I am always running out of time. What is up with that?
I rarely waste time. I can tell you what I was doing last month, last Tuesday, and last year. My hours are always logged and documented. My goal is to have between 10 -12 hours of productivity every day. I know this is strange, but I am a Capicorn, and I enjoy being productive. It is what makes me meaningful to myself.
I am always with my nose at my sewing machine or in front of the computer working out the business end of things. I like this.
I am opposed to wasting time. If you are a time waster, you should be glad that you don’t live with me. I want all time wasters to give their time to me. I would make such good use of it.
On the flip side of that. I see people who really enjoy their leisure time. They go on all day hikes, they make beautiful handcrafted gifts, they are willing to do lunch. I am jealous of these people. Why am I not like that?
But then life morphs into what I have now. Which is the potentail for failure because I have said yes one too many times. I teeter on the brink of that—the cliff of overcommitting.
There are the tasks that must be done—laundry, children, bills. I can usually manage these commitments as they are known entities. They take time but they can be put in the schedule and planned for.
It is the interruptions and surprises that set me back—earthquakes, holidays, the dentist. They take time I wasn’t planning on giving. As in, I don’t have the time for that.
And then the end time arrives. These are the days right before whatever I said yes to must be completed. I think I will call this the time tunnel. In the time tunnell every hour is dedicated to completing a particular task. All other things on my to-do list are not worth my time.
I like the times when I get to put the time I normally spend on my external life on pause, and hunker down to the meditative time of my studio. Life becomes all about what I want it to be about — my work.
And if I didn’t say yes to all these crazy things, I don’t think I would get this focused studio experience.
Because the time for tasks, for leisure, for interruptions would expand to be all of my time, and I don’t want that. I want this concentrated, focused, head down, stitch to the deadline experience. That is a bit selfish, isn’t it? Or maybe it’s just masculine? A dude wouldn’t worry about the fact that the kitchen countertop is not clean.
So, I say yes alot of the time. Too much of the time? Maybe? But the time is up for thinking about that, because you know, I am running out time. I have given this idea of time all the time I have got right now. Time is a ticking away.
All of these quilts will be on display as part of the show Pieced Canvas at the Visions Art Museum in San Diego, California from January 19 – April 7, 2019.
Pieced Canvas is my tenth kind of important solo/group show of my life.
This is my 400th blog post.
And yesterday was the sixth anniversary of this blog.
Life is good in the tunnel. Thank you people for being with me.