After last week’s entry, I sort of got my act back together. There is something about publicly declaring despair that somehow subdues it, puts it in perspective, and makes you just get on with living.
Last week, Son #1 was tested for Covid-19. Over the weekend, his temperature consistently stayed in the 102.5 range. His most severe symptoms were his temperature and an incredibly sore throat.
As I mentioned before, he is prone to drama. Essentially, he was convinced that he was dying of Covid-19. This is somewhat understandable. If you went to the doctor, and they suggested you be tested for Covid-19 because your symptoms warranted it, you might just do the same.
We waited, and while we waited, we googled everything we could think of to try and figure out what was happening.
While he did have some of the symptoms of Covid-19, he was not developing any new Covid-19 symptoms. Instead, he started to demonstrate more mono-like symptoms—in particular, a RASH. This was a welcome development.
On Monday, the doctor’s office called to say that his second testing for strep was negative. On Tuesday, the hospital called to say that his Covid-19 test was negative. So, in this strange world that we now live in, we are currently celebrating the fact that he has mono. It’s a good thing.
This virus is forcing us all to grapple with the burden of the unknown. How much can you carry on your back, in the pit of your stomach, along side the moments of your daily life? Does the more you explore the condition of uncertainty make you better or worse?
I don’t know.
When can we go back to our lives?
Well, according to pretty much every expert and every logical person out there we need to do the following things.
Hospitals must be able to safely treat all patients requiring hospitalization without resorting to crisis standards of care.
Each state needs to be able to at least test everyone who has symptoms and conduct monitoring of confirmed cases and contacts.
And, finally, each state must see a sustained reduction in cases for at least 14 days.
It seems like we should be able to agree on this and move forward, but for lots of really silly reasons it appears that we cannot.
While the urge to be sad and stressed on this state of affairs is overwhelming, I am going to choose to double down on hope.
What does hope look like?
I think it just might involve the abandonment of normal. The shedding of practices that no longer serve us. The thoughtful consideration of what life might look like if we could indeed kind of, sort of, start over.
What would you keep? What would you jettison? What would you give? What would you take? Can we talk about these things in a civilized manner?
I am trying to focus my thoughts and energies on this. I hope you will think about it too.
It will entail less trips to stores and more trips to friends and family homes.
I like that! Thank you Sharon!
So glad you got the “good” news. There is a lot to think about in these times. I’ve had two significant people in my life die in the past several weeks, neither of them from the virus. It feels heavy in a different way than the normal grief.
I suppose that is because we are really stopping right now and that gives us time to think. And of course, there is more sadness in general right now. And to add grief on top of that is just hard. My condolences to you and your family.
Horray for mono.
You have got that right!
Interesting read. I think you’re incredibly lucky that your son was able to be tested for Covid 19. Be safe.
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Yes. When I read about the lack of testing all over the US, I am very surprised that he was tested. I hope that changes soon. It needs to. Paolina, I hope you are safe, happy, and healthy!
Thank god your son was negative. In my small group of contacts, every one of us has experienced that despair you described. I can tell you that i made myself a to do schedule including house cleaning, sewing days, baking days, calling somebody every day. And walking the dog outside every day. We are all in this together, so have days of despair, but then do something positive, for yourself or someone else. Know that this too will pass. Hugs and prayers for strength on the weak days. I look forward to your blog posts.
Alice- I am finding that writing what is happening down here in this blog is a big way for me to process things. I have always kept a schedule and now, that is more important than ever. Please take care and be safe!
When this is all over I would like to see healthcare for everybody, paid sick leave for all employees, more protection for gig-economy workers, more respect for science, more accountability and standards for nursing homes, less dependence on foreign supply chains, especially for drugs and health supplies. I’d like to see less frivolous spending on entertainment and luxuries, more cooking at home, less organized activity for children requiring carpools and fragmented family schedules. I’d like to see less selfishness and more concern for others, less partisanship and more feeling of community.
Kathy- Our lists are the same in so many ways! Now, how to get there? I am thinking that is really has to be done locally. I need to step it up in that area. I hope you are staying safe, happy, and healthy!
I agree: let’s all double down on hope. I’m in!
YES to HOPE! I hope you are safe, happy, and healthy Leslie. And maybe getting a bit of work done in the studio!
Hi from down under! I am enjoying the ads on tv thanking everyone for doing the things necessary to flatten the curve…less than 1% for more than a week On the other side I may never leave my house again! It’s filled with wonderful things to do…I am aware it’d be different with kids at home! Loving having only one adult child trapped here so I can talk to him every day!
Dearest Kathy, Thank you for posting here and sharing a bit of your world. I know I like to stay at home and stitch too. It is what I normally do, but the cancellation of the other half of my life (traveling for work) left me a bit empty. I think I am getting my groove back. Blogging helps! I hope you and your man crew are A-OKAY! I am sure you are getting some fabulous new work done. Can’t wait to see it!
Thank you for a thought provoking post. I am very glad your son is not a COVID-19 victim. I like your phrase “the abandonment of normal” — maybe this is what is required for the world to make an about-turn and to start to recover. Family and friends is what I most want to keep. Packaging is is what I would like to see jettisoned. I think it is the root cause of the environmental crisis. Of course there is a long argument behind that statement.
Meanwhile, I hope you return to your sewing machine. Keep strong
You are so right about the packaging! A German friend of mine said Germans simplying started uppacking and leaving the packaging in the store. We could do that, but what about all the packaging shipped to our houses? Still, there are so many little things we can do to make the world a better place. And it starts with the idea that one person can make a difference. I believe that. Thank you for always checking in. I really like that.
Thanks for a thought-provoking read. And great news that it’s not Covid19. I have hope that people will use this time to make positive changes in their lives. It has helped me to prioritize what’s important and I hope I can make that last.
YES. If we all just made the decision to make one positive change in our lives, what a difference that would make! I am with you on that. Thank you Mary. I hope you are safe and doing good.
Whew on your son! Mono is good news these days!
Oh yes I like organizing, ironing, etc. fabric to get myself into the mood to create.
Much food for thought on this you posed: “This virus is forcing us all to grapple with the burden of the unknown.” I’ve been using the social isolation time as a time of slowing down and appreciating nature, etc. I’ve been trying to release the unknown as it is unknown as just live one day at a time.
Such good words Tierney! Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Nature is the best! One of the “jobs” our sons must do is go for a walk every day. The youngest is actually appreciating it. He told me he finds it calming and relaxing! Take care. I hope you are doing good.
Oy what a ride with your son’s illness. I have been home sick for a month, covid symptoms but two negative tests, yes for strep but too late to avoid horrible symptoms that ultimately had me on 2 antibiotics and a steroid. Still waiting on my test for mono. I can only tell you that yesterday was my first time fever free in 24 days!! I hope he is feeling better and that this health quarantine will end soon. l
I have been going through these things a lot right now: what to keep, what to change, and what needs to be introduced. These things are not all tangible either. Some are methods of doing things, some have to do with setting new timelines, or even setting up limits and taking control. Believe it or not, we bought a house during this mess, and we still have to move, then sell our current home. Changes and purging will come at me whether I am ready or not. I think I am ready to let go of the things that weigh me down. This will be good for most people in the end, if they choose to grow from it. This was such a great post.
Oh my gosh. I am glad it is “just” mono. As someone who got mono when she was 24, tell him I’m sorry and I empathize (still the worst sore throat of my adult life).
I have been really awful at engaging people during this time. I’m sorry, I’m just catching up with your excellent blog posts just now. I just have no energy. I use quick instagram as a very poor substitute. It’s like my natural introversion has grown and swallowed me.
Part of it is that I’ve been working for 12 hours days for… months now? Working from home meant more time at work, not less, as I work with banking software and it’s been pretty stressful. Some days I feel like I’m trying to help hold the economy together. I have had to step back and just let some things go, as I can feel how close to the edge I’m getting.
Meanwhile none of the stray cats have stopped having kittens so I’m still fostering. It actually helps. It’s grounding in a way that nothing else is right now. Taking care of them is a tangible thing I can do.